Ode To Travel

I love to travel. I love to go to new places, meet different people and indulge in the tasty foods and drinks that are native to other parts of the world (pasta, potato pancakes, steak frites, Mai Tais, etc). This is why I sometimes have to resort to wearing yoga pants to work instead of pants that have a button and a zipper. It works as long as you're also wearing a blazer, but I digress.

All of my attorneys travel on a regular basis, but usually not for pleasure. Oh sure, they manage to stuff their respective faces with fattening foods on their business trips, but instead of looking full and happy, they look uncomfortable and bloated upon their return. Is that a muffin top and man boobs I see? Sorry. The point of this post is not to criticize the weight fluctuations of my attorneys (or myself). Its to talk about something much more important, and that is inefficiency.

Partner 1 travels at least once a month. He generally knows about his upcoming trips months in advance, but doesn't inform me about them until 1-2 days before the trip is to take place. Before you say anything, he keeps his own paper calendar that he hides in a lockbox.  This is how our initial travel conversation usually goes: "Uhhhh Secy, did we book my flight to Dallas yet?" "What flight to Dallas?" "You know, for the meeting I have to attend there tomorrow morning." "Um, I didn't know about this meeting, but I'll call the travel agency right now." Since everything is done at the last minute, Partner 1 balks at the price of the flights, and wonders why the hotel he wants to stay in is booked. After much ado, I manage to book flights, hotels and rental cars to his satisfaction. That should be enough, right? Wrong! He changes his mind at least 5 times, which makes our travel agents put more pins in our respective voodoo dolls. We usually end up with the original flights that I've booked for him, so I've spent a couple of hours on nothing.

On the day Partner 1 is scheduled to return home, he almost always wants to change the time of his flight. When he does this, he calls me from the airport and asks me to call the travel agency to change his flight. I do point out to him that its easier for him to do this at the the airport. Its more efficient and he can instantly get his new ticket. He doesn't seem to understand this, and then wonders why the travel agency is taking so long. Partner 1 is a brilliant attorney. Why he hasn't figured out how to book his trips in a more efficient manner is a mystery to me.

Sometimes Partner 1 doesn't even tell me that he is traveling. This usually happens when he's traveling with another partner, and that partner's secretary makes all of the travel arrangements. When this happens, he will call me from the airport and ask me to change his flight on a trip that I didn't even know existed. And around and around the crazy circle we go once again.

So attorneys, to make your travel arrangements in a more efficient manner, I (speaking for all legal secretaries) ask that you do the following:

1. Notify your secretary in advance of any trips you will be taking. This will save both of you a headache, and you usually won't have to pay exorbitant prices for last minute tickets.
2. Do not call your secretary from the airport asking her to change your flight. This is a waste of time. Simply go up to the counter of the airline you're scheduled to take, and have them do this for you.
3. Does it really matter if you get home 30 minutes earlier? No. You'll probably be spending that extra 30 minutes on the taxi line anyway.
4. Yoga pants are your friend. I'm sure they make yoga pants for men now. You will look and feel so much more comfortable upon your return to the office. If you want to take this a step further, Spanx now has a line for men. You should try it sometime.