Myths About Legal Secretaries Debunked!

There are a lot of misconceptions about the role of the legal secretary, so I thought I'd take a few minutes and clarify some things.

1. I am not your personal assistant. The job I signed up for was to type stuff for you, schedule appointments for you, answer your phone, send out correspondence for you and to generally be a cool and exciting person you can say you know. My job is not to walk your dog, pick up your dry cleaning, act as your driver or remove the food stains from your shirt (for the record, you should really invest in a lobster bib).

2. Contrary to popular belief, not all legal secretaries are from Staten Island. Some of us are from more exotic places, like Brooklyn.

3. I am not a CPA. While I may do a lot of accounting for you, including preparing your bills and reimbursements, I was never trained to be an accountant. In fact, I suck at math. So, if I mess up something accounting related for you, it wasn't done on purpose. Please calm down and contact the appropriate department to fix the error--Accounting.

4. Not all legal secretaries have cat calendars decorating their desks. Some of us have prefer calendars of dogs dressed in funny outfits.

5. I am not your personal bank. Please don't ask me to borrow $20. That's what debit cards are for.

6. No, I do not know how to fix your computer. If something goes wrong, please contact the IT department.

7. I really am not always eating candy. It just so happens that whenever you come by my desk, I'm stuffing my face with Skittles.

8. I am not deaf. If you are having a confidential conversation near my cubicle, I can usually hear everything you're saying. So, please stop talking about me in front of me. Thanks!

9. I am not a babysitter. If you bring your kids to the office on Bring Your Screaming Brat to Work Day, I am not interested in having your kid scream and wreak havoc in my cubicle. That being said, it would be really cool if you would please bring me an ice cream sundae from the kiddy party.

10. It is perfectly okay to use me as your advisor, and not just your secretary. I would be happy to give you insight into the personalities of other staff at the office. I would also be more than happy to help you out with your outfit choices.  I know that you're a partner and you can do what you want, but wearing a plaid flannel shirt to the office is just not chic.